After three weeks with Noah it has finally started to sink in that I am a mom. It's weird because when you make the decision to finally take the plunge and start a family you are never really prepared or ready for what lies ahead. I think it's a good thing that God gives you 9 months.
I prepared myself or so I thought I did for parenthood. I cleaned or should I say scoured the house for weeks to make sure everything was in its place when he arrived. I boiled bottles and pacifiers. I washed onesies and pajamas. Nothing could prepare me though for the emotional change that I have gone through. I often find myself thinking this is my son and I am responsible for him and what an awesome responsibility that is. I have turned into this person that I never knew existed within me. For some reason I feel that I am the only one that can feed him correctly or comfort him when he is crying. Of course the realistic side of me knows that family and friends are capable and do a good job caring for Noah but deep inside there is a part of me that clings tightly to my new role and I like it and I don't want to let go. I guess my apron strings are just beginning to grow. I love being his mom.
It is amazing that in three short weeks I have developed a relationship like this with this little person. I have learned so much about him, little things like what his crying spells mean though they are rare. So I guess it's official then I am now a member of the mom club. I like my new role.
4 comments:
We knew that you would be a great Mom too! Welcome to the club!
You really summed it all up-- it is an amazing and wonderful responsibility. Noah is lucky to have a mom like you (and a great dad, too!)
Shelly - every mom can relate to how you've embraced your new role as mom.
I admire how openly you admit you're the only one that can do things "right" - I felt the same way. When Nathan was born he had such feeding issues and all I wanted was for him to come home from the hospital. I was there 15 hours a day and wouldn't even let the hospital staff feed him. After we finally brought him home I remember someone trying to feed him and they were doing it all wrong - I silently freaked out! I told Danny - never again! Not until he's better. My sister will attest to this paranoia - all for the reasons you describe in your post and it's ok. That's what moms do - protect their young. It's instinct.
Thanks girls. You make me feel normal. Deep down I know women do this everyday but it is so weird how protective you become when you have a child. Weird and cool at the same time.
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