It's 3:30 a.m. and I should be sleeping. In two hours my alarm will go off and I will be getting ready for my first day back to work. But it's 3:30 a.m. and I am up, wide awake with a million and one thoughts about my first day back to school.
I have that same nervous feeling that I had last year in November when I went back to work after the end of my maternity leave. If your a mom you know the feeling. The feeling of dread about dropping your child off at daycare and heading into a full day worth of work. Don't get me wrong, I feel I have the best job in the world. I love being a teacher. I can't wait to get to know my students. I can't wait to see familiar faces, but leaving Noah is hard too.
Over the course of the summer Noah has realized how cool his mother is and because of this he has a really hard time when I leave him. So I am feeling guilty and sad about dropping him off at daycare today. As a former daycare provider I know he will be fine. I have witnessed the kids cry when their parents leave and then stop 10 minutes after they have gone. But I feel apprehensive about leaving him. I am going to miss our routines. I am going to miss hearing him chat before he drifts off to sleep during nap time only to wake 3 hours later chatting again.
And then there is the whole "me getting back into work mode". You know, how am I going to do this after lounging by the pool all summer? I have enjoyed basking in the sun with a Nicholas Sparks novel in hand chatting with Amy about kids, dogs and husbands. And you know how I feel about lunch dates. In two hours I have to pack all those memories away like my bathing suit and flip flops and join the work force again.
In two more hours my alarm will go off and I will be expected to be some where. I will need to blow dry my hair, apply my makeup, and grab a bite to eat all before 7:30 a.m. I know this sounds like a simple task, but I am a turtle in the morning. It doesn't come easy getting this beauty to look presentable. And to top it off I don't know what to wear. How casual should I go today? It is my first day back but it's not a "teaching day". Today is the day I see all my coworkers, mostly for the first time since the end of June, at superintendent's conference day. Am I tan enough? Does my hair look good? Does this outfit fit right? These are just few questions that are swirling around in my mind. I am not even going to the weight compartment of my mind. I didn't lose the ten or fifteen pounds that I wanted to but I did manage to drop four. Hey, that's better than gaining four.
So in two hours the school year begins for me. Back to packing book bags and lunches and picking out outfits the night before. Back to saying goodbye to the dogs and back to scrambling around the house in the morning and fighting Johnny for mirror time (we have plenty of mirrors but we always seem to pick the same ones). Back to kissing Noah and counting down the hours until I see him again. First day jitters have arrived!