It Ain't Easy...

It ain't easy... being a mom. There are days (like today) when I am cleaning the house and taking care of laundry wondering if I am ever going to get ahead. I have this week off and last week I couldn't wait for this week to come. Each day I added a chore to the mental list that I created weeks ago. Work on the basement, organize our closet, catch up on the laundry were some of the tasks that I wanted to check off my list. However, things aren't going as planned. I don't know why that surprises me though. With two kids, a husband and two dogs there really isn't much time left in the day to get everything checked off my list or even two things checked off my list. By the time everyone is fed and the house is somewhat put back together there doesn't seem to be much time for the extra stuff. And that drives me crazy.

So I have come to the conclusion that motherhood is quite possibly the hardest thing I will ever do. I love my boys and wouldn't want it any other way. But there are times when I wish I could clean an empty house, fold laundry in a quiet room and vacuum without running into our dog.

It ain't easy...

Six months Later...

Six months ago John, Noah and I welcomed this little guy into our family.



Eli Benjamin has been a huge blessing in our family. Everyone warned me that having two kids so close in age was going to be really difficult. And I will admit that some days it is. Between juggling the house, my job and my boys it can get really hectic, but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way.

Noah is learning that Eli is here to stay and is starting to enjoy his little brother. Eli loves to watch Noah and laugh at him when he does silly things. There are the occasional moments when Noah pulls Eli's hair, but there are times too when he is so sweet with him. The other day while I was packing the boys up to go to school I looked over at Eli's car seat and spotted his bear. Noah loves to bring his bear to school and he thought Eli would like to bring his bear too so he placed it in his car seat. I love little moments like that.

Eli has made lots of progress since joining us on April 21st.

Eli's Timeline:
-at six weeks he gave me a smile
-started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks
-at eight weeks smiling became a routine thing
-four months he rolled over
-at four months I introduced applesauce and he loved it
-at sixth months he is trying so hard to get up on his knees.
-he loves to laugh and he smiles all of the time
-so far he loves peas and bananas
-he weighs 19 pounds!

We are really enjoying our family of four.

Hollywood?

Today the Hickoks felt a little like Hollywood superstars. We had our very first family photo shoot this morning. Move over Brad and Angie. Our family pics would totally give the Pitts a run for their money. We met our photographer, Dan Cooper, at Yaddo Gardens and he spent 2 hours treating us like Hollywood's finest. Eli was really the superstar today and we decided to tag along and jump in the pictures with him. He was such a sweet baby and looked absolutely adorable in his little outfit.





I know I am biased when I say this, but I think Eli is absolutely precious. He just melts my heart. Everyone warned me that because Noah was a great baby that I would never get another one like him. I simply have to disagree because Eli has been such a blessing in our household. He is a sweet baby.

The photo shoot was a lot of fun and felt completely natural and right. I could totally get addicted to it. And did I mention that our photographer was amazing? Dan is creative and he was super patient with Noah. The setting was perfect. Yaddo Gardens is beautiful! I can't wait to see the pictures even if they don't make the latest issue of People or Us Weekly. I can honestly say that the Hickoks are ready for the paparazzi to come knocking on our door. Roll out the red carpet.

Is It Really August?

It's August already! Where has the summer gone? I say that with complete astonishment as I do sadness. In just a few weeks I will be unlocking the door to my classroom and welcoming 23 students to fourth grade. It seems like yesterday was April 20th and I was pampering myself with a manicure and pedicure excited to meet Eli. That's when my summer vacation began.

Part of me is a little frustrated that I didn't conquer my list of "maternity leave do's." The basement isn't organized, there are a few cupboards that I didn't get to, and I have yet to lose those stubborn pounds that have become my unwanted frenemy. I guess there is a bright side to the unfinished list. I have enjoyed my time with Noah and Eli. We have attended play dates, lunch dates, shopped until we dropped and spent lots of time outdoors. Time does go by so fast though. And I am left to wonder if I will be able to be a successful mom as well as a teacher when September rolls in. Can I handle working all day and then come home and keep up with the house chores? I know it can be done, but I guess the bigger question is, do I want to do it? I am torn. Part of me looks forward to the daily interaction with adults and the highs of being with students; challenging them, laughing with them and setting goals with them. And part of me dreads the first morning when I have to hand Eli over to his daycare teacher. Noah looks forward to playing with children his own age and I really feel that the structure the daycare provides is wonderful for him.

So as we make our way into August I have a bundle of emotions that I am dealing with as I prepare to go back to work. I have enjoyed playing with my boys and spending time with John. Lunch dates, play dates and shopping sprees will have to be put on hold until next summer or at least until our first school vacation.

Lazy Blogger!

I guess the title says it all! I have been a lazy blogger. I think I can blame it on Facebook though. It is so much easier to update my status and include pictures of the kids. And I just assume that people enjoy Facebook more so than blogs.

This summer seems to be drifting by quickly. These days I find myself chasing after Noah, changing diapers and cleaning the house. Did I mention that I feel like the house never stays clean? I don't imagine it would when you live with two of the hairiest dogs on the planet. Besides the cleaning and laundry we have managed to squeeze in time for the pool. Noah is not a huge fan of the water. He is content playing in the dirt and using the water table. He loves to be outside. He is chatting quite a bit too. We still aren't exactly sure what he is saying but he does a lot of babbling. This summer he had tubes placed in his ears so we are hopeful that he will have less ear infections. He is getting really good at calling for the dogs. He says Toby's name very clearly. She really doesn't pay too much attention to him but Finnegan loves Noah. Most mornings I find them chasing one another through the house. Finn is so patient with Noah.



Eli is doing wonderful. He is a great baby. I was a little nervous at the thought of having two children under the age of two but I can honestly say that it's not so bad. We manage to run our errands and still enjoy the same outings that I did with just one child. There are things that make it easier, one being the awesome double stroller I have. It's a lifesaver!

Eli is on a great schedule which includes him sleeping through the night. He is doing a lot of smiling and cooing. We are hoping that he holds on to his blue eyes. He is just precious, see for yourself.

Dare I say it?

Dare I say it? I am afraid that if I say it then it won't happen again. Our newest addition has been giving his parents one of the greatest gifts that a newborn could give. He has been sleeping through the night. There I said it! Now let's hope that this continues.

Eli did his first "all nighter" (sleeping through the night) when he was 4 weeks week old. I was in my glory when I woke the next morning at 6:00 to find my sleeping beauty snoring away in his bassinet. If you're a parent you find yourself wishing, hoping and praying that your newborn will sleep through the night. And for all you moms that have never felt that way well, God bless you because you must be super mom. I happen to love to sleep. I treasure afternoon naps and get ridiculously excited when I get eight or more hours a sleep at night. Obviously I have had to put that on the back burner for awhile. It feels like it has been a long time since I have had a date with my pillow. But there is hope and I know I have hope that my eight hour nights will return.

Now that Eli is 6 weeks old I think it's time that he start learning about habits and I think that sleeping is one that he will enjoy. I have had many conversations with him about how wonderful sleeping is. I told him that although eating is great; sleeping through the night is way better. I think he is starting to see that.

So as I sit hear writing this Eli is sleeping soundly in his little baby recliner. We have one more feeding to go and then it's off to the bassinet for bedtime stories and sweet dreams. Let's just hope that Mr. Eli decides that sleeping is as wonderful as his mother says it is.

Eli Benjamin Hickok April 21st 2010

He is here!

I have not been a very good blogger. These past few days I have thought about blogging, but honestly I have been too exhausted. Not that tonight is any different from the past few weeks, but I figured if I didn't blog then I would be way behind. So here is the latest news from the Hickok family.

Eli Benjamin arrived safely on Wednesday, April 21st. I had a repeat c-section and everything went very well. I must admit that seeing Eli for the first time kinda shocked me. When I got the first glimpse of him I thought, "Holy cow, my baby is tiny!" However, he weighed in at 8 pounds and 6 ounces and he was 20 inches long. Not so tiny! He came into this world using his lungs. Hearing him in the operating room made me wonder if he was going to be a cryer, however he has proven me wrong-so far anyways. He is a sweetie! He loves to cuddle and he kinda melts into your arms when you hold him. He resembles Noah, however he doesn't have as much hair as Noah had and his hair is fairly light. He is absolutely precious. When I hold him I am reminded why this age is so awesome. I love cuddling with him.

So the past three weeks have been busy ones. I am really tired. I forgot how tired you are after having a baby. It has been kinda hard getting used to getting up in the night. I am so waiting for the night that he decides to stretch himself to the morning. I know, he is only three weeks old and that will come in time but I really miss sleeping. I was thinking to myself that it has been a really long time since I have had a night of uninterrupted sleep. When you are pregnant you are up during the night using the bathroom and now I am up feeding Mr. Eli. I try to sleep during the day but I often find myself doing other things like laundry or cleaning.

Noah is adjusting to the new member in our family. Noah has pulled and yanked on Eli but it doesn't seem to bother Eli. The first week was really rough but everyday it gets better. I know that eventually Noah will love having Eli to play with.

John is busy building an addition. Noah will be getting a new room and we will also be getting a new living room. I am excited about this and can't wait until it is complete.

We have taken lots of pictures and will be posting them very soon. But for now I think I may take a little nap before Mr. Eli decides he wants to eat.

Tomorrow is the Day!

I should be snuggled under my covers right now drifting off to dream land. Tomorrow is our big day as we welcome our second son into our family. I honestly can't believe that I am going to be a mom of two boys. It seems like yesterday that we had Noah. Noah is 20 months and as I was preparing the bassinet today it seemed strange that he once fit in there. Now he is busy pulling everything out of the bassinet. I wonder how he will adjust?

Tomorrow at 5:00 a.m. John and I will make our way to Bellevue Hospital. Although I had a c-section with Noah I can't dismiss the butterflies I am feeling about my c-section tomorrow. I greatly appreciate all the prayers that people have offered. I have found myself waking early this week praying that all goes well.

We will update the blog as soon as we can. I can't wait to see Baby Hickok. I wonder who he will look like? I guess I will see soon enough.

It's Just "One" of Those Days...right?

Today was one of those days where I felt that it couldn't get any worse! What started off as a great morning soon turned sour. Today John and I went to Bellevue for my pre-op. Everything there went fabulous. It couldn't have went any smoother. The nurses were all great, the office staff was very personable, and the anethesiologist reminded me of someone you would see on Saturday Night Live. He was hysterical!

I left the hospital in my husband's truck, which by the way I absolutely hate driving but he wanted to drive my car to the city and being the compromising wife that I am, I let him take the car. The sun was shining and I felt relieved that the pre-op was complete. Just one more thing that we could check off of our getting ready for Baby Hickok list. As I made my way up 87 I decided to pick up Noah and treat him to lunch. He had a doctor's appointment at noon so I figured we would have time for pizza.

Picking up Noah from daycare was a breeze despite the fact that he was outside playing. He loves being outside and usually doesn't want to come in. The daycare owner even took it upon herself to place Noah in his car seat. She must have noticed the dreaded look on my face about hoisting Noah into John's truck with this big belly of mine. The day was going perfectly. We enjoyed our pizza and I headed over to the doctor's office.

When we arrived at the doctor's I did my usual check in with the chick behind the counter business. Now, I am going to be completely human for the next few paragraphs. I am going to honest! I consider writing great therapy. So I am going to let it all out. Are you ready? I don't like the chick behind the counter, no not at all. She doesn't smile. She's not friendly and she's not helpful. She wears an expressionless look on her face regardless of what she is saying. And lately I feel like she is picking on me. She is so bossy! I say lately because we are there every fourteen days or so getting Noah's ears checked. Yes, he has chronic ear infections. I am ready to buy one of those ear checker tools and a script pad so I can start diagnosing him myself and writing his scripts.

At the doctor's office they conviently have a well side and a sick side. Where do think Noah traveled to as I was checking in? Yes, that's right. My twenty month old wandered over to the empty well side. When I say empty I mean desolate. It's noon, there is no one there and no one pulling in the parking lot. After I signed my initials on the check-in form the lovely receptionist reminded me that Noah needs to be on the sick side (she is starting to do her bossy thing). At that point I wanted to provide her with a snide Michelle remark, but I refrained. She is just doing her job which is to make sure that the sick team isn't fratinizing with the well team. I get that however, the well team hadn't showed up yet so she could take off the refuree uniform and relax. Besides ear infections aren't contagious.

Well Noah didn't want to leave the well side which turned into one big fat tantrum. Please picture this with me. A women (me) nine months pregnant trying to drag this thirty-three pound toddler who is kicking and screaming over to the sick side. I managed to get him over there but during that time he ripped my sunglasses off, pulled my hair and slapped me. Thank you receptionist girl for all of your help. Truly appreciate it. Now I know that my son is totally being disobedient. I get that it is not receptionist girl's fault, but at that moment I was at what I thought was my whit's end. Not true though as the story gets better.

Noah continued to scream and flop around the floor like a fish who had been taken out of water. The nurse came out and tried to escort us to a room. After what seemed like twenty minutes of more fish flopping we made it there without injury. As I sat in the room every bit of me wanted to break down and cry. The doctor came in and proceeded to ask questions about what was bothering Noah. This was not the doctor that Noah normally sees. I love his doctor however, she wasn't available.

At this point Noah is still crying. He doesn't want to take his shirt off and he certainly doesn't want anyone near his ear. The doctor tries to look in his ear. However, I am not much help. There is no room on my lap for Noah because I am huge. Did I mention that I am nine months pregnant? The doctor decided to leave to get assistance from the nurse. When she left, as hard as I tried I couldn't hold it in any longer. I was done. I was now officially at my whit's end. The tears came and as a pregnant lady ready to give birth, the tears fell and wouldn't stop. The nurse and doctor came back to the room only to find me sobbing with my twenty month old. I couldn't help it. They offered me tissues and hugs, but I couldn't stop crying. What had started as a wonderful morning full of excitement turned into a nasty episode at the doctor's office.

I did manage to compose myself long enough to provide them with my $15.00 copay. But as soon as a famiilar nurse approached me and asked if I was okay, I did what any woman would do and started crying all over again. You know what I am talking about. The type of crying where your chest is heaving up and down and you try really hard to make sense of what you're saying but it only sounds like a mufffled noise. Yeah, that was me. The look on Noah's face was a combination of bewilderment and disgust. Almost as if he was saying, "Pull it together lady and knock off the crying. I am the one with the ear infection."

I can honestly say that I have never in my life felt more like a D+ parent than I have these past few months. I mean lead me to the nearest parenting class and sign me up for the double session, "How to Raise Your Toddler" class. When Noah throws a tantrum I try to ignore it. I try to walk away. I pray for patience, but I can never really get over the fact that he has tantrums. I feel as though I have done something wrong as a parent and that's why he has them. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a push-over. I am a teacher. I am structured and strict but I am compassionate and kind. I don't let Noah get away with being disobedient and I feel like we are very consistent with him. But lately I have been questioning my parenting skills. Never in a million years did I ever imagine that Noah would act like me. When I held him for the very first time I hoped he would have my sense of humor but skip my stubbornness and definately skip my attitude of my way or the highway. I don't want him to have to learn the hard way or always have the last word. It's tough being like that. I speak from experience. We have so much work to do with him. He is a beautiful boy that loves to give kisses to his mom and can't wait to see his dad's face in the morning. But say no to him and all unpleasantville breaks out. So, as the day comes to a close I think to myself that there will probably be many more days like this one and some even worse. But honestly nothing beats pulling into the driveway, as I did tonight, and seeing my bright eyed boy grinning from ear to ear out the window as he sees his mommy climb out of that big obnoxious truck and waddle in to greet him. And then I remind myself, it's just "one" of those days.... right?

Update!

As I was walking to my car this afternoon after leaving school I felt a little guilty for not updating this blog as regularly as I did when I was pregnant with Noah. However, I do have a reason. He is 31 pounds and an active ball of energy. Sometimes I look at Noah and think, where did you get all of that energy? And why on earth don't you just want to relax after being at daycare all day?

Upon entering the house today he stuck up his nose, took a big sniff and said, "mmmhhh". I had beef stew in the crock pot and I guess he was really looking forward to it. He is so hungry when he gets home and wants to eat immediately. If I am cooking and walk out of the kitchen, Noah stands in the kitchen and cries until I go back to the stove. I guess he likes me barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen. Watch out ladies! He is going to be quite the husband someday.

Little Baby Hickok is doing well. He is busy kicking and practicing breathing. He has the hiccups all of the time. I am so thrilled that it is March which means we don't have much more time until we become a family of four. I am wondering how Noah is going to do with the adjustment. He loves to pat my stomach and say baby. But I am not so sure what he is going to think of the baby once he is here. Time will tell.

Well it's about time!

Well it's about time! I have used that phrase more than once and definitely heard it more than once in my lifetime. It certainly has been a long time since I posted a new entry. But I do have some really good excuses as to why I haven't been faithful.

-Noah is a toddler and into everything. Today was no exception. I spent the morning washing walls and trim, doing the whole "nesting" thing and he wanted to sit on my lap as I worked. If he wasn't on my lap then he was lifting my shirt to tickle me and pulling on my overly tight sweat pants; as if they weren't uncomfortable enough. Kinda hard to get anything done. When he wasn't on my lap he was in Finn's water bowl or trying to pry open the dishwasher. Hands full!! That's how I felt today.
-Let's not forget the obvious-I'm pregnant! And I feel like I am expanding every minute. I like to compare my stomach to a hot air balloon. I feel as though any minute I will lift off. I am tired and by the time I get home from school and get dinner on the table the last thing I feel like doing is anything that requires me to use brain cells. You can call it laziness, but I feel knocked out at the end of the day.
-Dogs!! Need I say more. They drain whatever life is left in me at the end of the day. I am a slave to picking up dog toys and vacuuming the endless amount of dog hair that they shed. Actually Johnny does most of the vacuuming but watching him makes me tired. You can find their hair everywhere!
-School.... I love teaching and finding new ideas for my students, but I must admit I am looking forward to some rest. I know, having a new baby is not exactly a vacation.
-Household chores... John has been a huge help around the house. He is superman with the laundry. I can't compete with his speed in that area and like I mentioned above, he is doing most of the vacuuming. But there is the weekly dreaded grocery shopping, cooking, dusting, and general upkeep of the house that needs to be done. And by at the end of each day I look at our house and think, it's still not clean enough. It probably won't be either until after our little guy comes.
-Bejeweled... Need I say more. I'm addicted. And even when I tell myself that I am not going to play I find my fingers sliding and tapping the mouse to play another game. It's a terrible addiction.

But in all seriousness, everything is going pretty well for this pregnancy. Little baby Hickok is growing and all of my blood work has come back great. I am experiencing some pelvic pain and back pain, but that's to be expected when your pregnant. On April 21st we will welcome the newest addition to our home. And I honestly can't believe that we are going from a family of three to a family of four. For the past 18 months we have showered Noah with lots of attention. Soon he will be sharing the attention with his brother. Ahh and I will finally have some energy or so I think.